


You Should Fix That Hole In The Wall

by deletingpoint



Series: Supernatural codas [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awesome Jody Mills, Canon Compliant, Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-11 12:26:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11714373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deletingpoint/pseuds/deletingpoint





	1. Sam

 

A knock on the door wakes Sam from his whiskey-induced drowsiness and he struggles to get up as quickly as possible. The rusty creak echoes through the bunker before he can get to the stairs.

“Hello? Anybody home?” Jody’s voice dances on the walls. “The door was open so I just let myself in!”

“Yeah, Jody, down here,” Sam looks up and crashes to sit on the steps.

Jody stops for a second, releases a breath before walking down and sitting next to Sam. Her arm flings around his shoulders and she pulls him as close as possible.

“So, not doing so good, huh?” she asks looking right in front of her.

“No, not good,” Sam says with a small voice.

“I’m so sorry,” Jody blinks to get rid of the tears that are stinging in her own eyes and hugs Sam even closer. “You know, you should fix that hole in the wall. And change the locks.”

Sam lets out a tiny laugh. Until he remembers mom locking them in. “Damn it. We just got her back, Jody. For real. She, you know she’d been scared to talk to me. Guess the whole guilt thing is a Winchester-Campbell curse, huh?”

“Hey, look at me!” Jody turns his head to face her. “We’ll get her back, you’ll get her back. She’s not dead and you’re gonna have years to get to know each other. We’ll find a way, isn’t that what you guys are good at?”

Sam smiles and almost believes her. At least there’s hope. “We can try, that’s something. More than we can do for Cas.”

They fall silent, Jody rubbing Sam’s back.

“Got a call from Claire,” she finally talks again, “she’s gonna come home for a while.”

“I didn’t call her,” Sam frowns, “thought it’d be better coming from you.”

“Yeah, well, guess your brother didn’t share that thought,” Jody inhales a lungful of air before continuing, “how is he?”

Sam stretches his fingers, not meeting Jody’s: “He’s…” he rubs the palm of his hand, “I don’t know what to do, Jody. I mean, I know, I _know_ how he feels, but it’s still different. With, khhm, with Jess it was, we were easy. We liked each other and we were together and she didn’t know the truth and it hurt like hell, but it was different. And Eileen,” he shakes his head, “god, I still expect her to walk through the door. Fuck. We were just wondering maybe, you know? Fuck, she can’t be gone, Jody,” he rubs his face to get the tears away, but the ache just won’t stop.

“Hey, hey, hey, you don’t need to, okay? You’re hurting, Sam. You don’t need to know what to do, that’s what I’m here for, okay? You just take care of yourself, you hear me? Cry or scream or fix the damn wall, whatever you need to, let me be here for you both. Cause I can do that, alright?”

“Thank you for being, for coming,” Sam manages to force out a genuine smile, “we gave him a hunter’s funeral, you know. Think Dean was still in shock or something, didn’t even try to stop me. Didn’t say a word, didn’t cry, nothing. It’s like he was scared to touch him. Jody, I don’t wanna throw it all on you. I know,” he adds before Jody could start arguing again. “I’m just saying.”

“Yeah, well, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. So, why don’t you go do coffee or something and I’m gonna try to find your brother.”

“Thank you, Jody,” Sam looks up at her as she gets up. She kisses her palm and places it on Sam’s forehead. “Don’t mention it.”

 

 


	2. Dean

 

He hears the approaching steps before there’s a knock on his door. Hesitant. He keeps staring at that one spot on the floor that’s darker than the rest of it. Shit. It’s like he keeps seeing a wing pattern everywhere.

“Dean, will you let me in? Or come out? You know, whatever suits you the best?” Jody knocks again.

“Yeah, it’s, uh, open,” he answers without raising his voice or moving from the edge of his bed where he’s sitting. Jody must’ve heard him, cause a second later the door opens and she walks in, closing it behind her.

“Hey, so,” Jody swings on her toes before continuing, “care to explain why you though you should call my ward before me?” she decides on an approach and smack her lips. Dean looks bad. He lets out a bitter huff and shakes his head. “Not really.”

“That so?” Jody seats next to him.

“Yeah, so,” Dean coughs, not meeting her eyes and fighting with tears that make Jody ache for him, “I wasn’t. I was,” he palms the phone in his lap and turns it in his hands. “I was just looking through his…” he takes a deep breath, “before I knew it I’d made the call. So, kind of an accident and she answered and…what was I supposed to say? I have C…his phone cause just went to the bathroom?” he raises his voice and throws the phone on the bed. “Fuck!” Dean rubs his eyes and slumps on his knees. “I mean, what’s the bloody point of any of it? I can’t even fucking, it’s so freaking cold, Jody, I can’t, I just can’t.”

Jody rubs his back and leans her chin on his head. At least she got him talking. “Sure you can.” Dean only shakes his head. “It’s not gonna happen overnight and it’ll always haunt you, but you can live through this. You know he’d,” she doesn’t finish her thought. It’s too early to talk about what Cas would’ve wanted.

“No. You don’t…” Dean starts, but Jody lets go of him. “I don’t what? Understand? My dead son killed my husband in front of me and you’re saying I don’t get it? I do and it’s fucking hard and cold and empty as all hell, but,” she wants to say that one day the memories won’t hurt, but rather soothe the pain, but that might be too early as well. She sighs. “And you gotta help your mom.”

Dean laughs in hi hollow way again and looks at Jody for the first time. So lost.

“She’s alive and you know it. You really think some other world would burn her out? She’s kicking ass and waiting for you to bust her out of there. You know it, you just want it to be over. And I get it, I do. But please, please just try? We can watch chick-flicks and cry together, if that would help? Just don’t cut yourself away from us. From me and Sam and anyone who wants to help. Just let us be around in case you need us, okay? You can come to me any time, with anything.” Dean swallows a few times and finally nods. She hugs him close again.

“I just, I, uh, I never, I never said it back, you know?” he mumbles quietly. “I never told him, Jody, I never told him.” He grabs onto her and cries silently, the words repeating over and over and over. They sit like that for a while, before Jody finds her voice.

“Shh, sshh, then tell him, tell him now. Talk to him out loud. He might not hear, but you will. It’ll help just to get the words out. It’ll help.”

“Yeah?” Dean calms down a bit.

“Yeah. Come, let’s get you something to eat first. You don’t wanna collapse in the middle of talking, now do you?” Jody tries to smile, but even she can tell it doesn’t look like a smile. She gets up and pulls Dean with her.

“Okay. Huh, yeah. Umm, okay, okay, I can do that, yeah,” Dean looks at her, eyes still so lost, but trying to find a way back.

“Yeah?” Jody holds an arm over his shoulders and guides him out of the room.

 


End file.
